The Ocean - The Exploration
A Letter - La Dispute
Everybody wants a reason for everything.
It’s so much easier with someone or something to blame.
I’ve always struggled at the root of the problem.
Has it been absence or my constant lack of defense?
I’ve never spent a lot on finding a remedy.
I guess I figured that it hurt for a reason.
I guess that’s why I’ve always turned to writing it down.
Not just in stories, but the letters in between.
And I guess that’s why it haunts the pages of everything-
I think the thing is that I shut off from everything.
From friends and family and my own ambitions.
From having fun.
I just shut off from everything.
Self-defeating? Yeah, probably.
But I don’t know that I had total control over it.
And I’m not sure it even matters why.
Sometimes things happen and you can’t do anything.
Plus, I’m the only one who deals with it anyway.
So if everyone could do me a favor and
just put their fingers down
I’d-and keep your mouths-
Sorry. I know I seem angry.
I’m not, I…I promise. I just know I did this to me.
And I will deal with it accordingly.
And I don’t need opinions from those never a part of it.
Don’t need them pointing out my problems, they’re mine.
Don’t need reminders, I know better than anyone.
And yeah, I know, I should be finding another way.
I know that I should be out seeking a substitute.
But just forgetting never really made sense to me.
So I haven’t been.
Do I feel embarrassed about it?
I think you know the answer to that.
I think you’d probably feel a little bit embarrassed for me,
I know I should’ve moved on ages ago, been happy already,
but it’s never been that easy for me.
Or maybe it was me that made it so hard.
I know I’ve only ever tried a handful of times
to sever this thing torturing me.
It never got me anywhere, with anyone.
No friendship or hobby, no lover’s bed worked.
But looking back I maybe never tried hard enough,
and it is my fault.
Maybe I never tried at all
(Source: flyingattreelv, via cutebabe)
Color Blind - Say Anything
Here comes the sadness that I miss so much. That lonely aching comes from every touch. I’ve grown accustomed to the grays and blacks because they’re always coming back. Sit down for supper, won’t you dine with me? Or can’t you handle seeing all I see? I’ve grown to colorblind to cease my bitching and I’ve grown to love the pain. And I move too slow and I think too fast and the first rainbow I see will be the last. Here comes a view I’ve seen a million times. Here comes a boring song with thoughtless rhymes. I know you’re sick of me so tell me here. Because you could have be the one to make it all disappear.
Face Ghost - Touche Amore
There is weight in the words we’ve said, too heavy to carry in our heads. There’s a chance that I thought had gone, but here we are, playing along. I admit I’m scared, so fragile, emotionally impaired. Damaged goods, so broken, so misunderstood. And I can see that rain cloud that follows me looks like the one that follows you. And the same ghosts that keep me awake haunt your nights just the same. All dressed up in black and grey, we know each other just the same. And every mile that sits between won’t understand what it means to have one look mean everything and throw all caution to the sea. I have faith in us if we don’t self destruct.
For The World - Transit
The last thing you said to me was this, “I wouldn’t trade you for the world.” Because in that moment I knew how it truly felt to be loved unconditionally when you held me on the back porch underneath the setting sun. You are the torch that lights the way through the darkest times in my life, like coals that you burn beneath my feet to keep me moving on. Will you sing me to sleep the way you did when I was young, when you held me on the back porch underneath the setting sun? I got time to kill but I wont waste a second cause I’ve grown tired of waiting and wasting away. Right now it seems all I know and love is gone except my beat up guitar and unfinished songs. At least I finished this one.